I-S-A ; ini sejarah aku

salamun ‘alaik!
hahahahahahaha~ aku berjaya!!!! yeah! aku berjaya! hahaha… dengan cemerlang aku telah berjaya avoid FS for… erhm.. a month maybe… and YM 2 weeks lebih2… hehehe… tu je kot aku nye pencapaian…. praise be to HIM. then… erhm… lets story! hahaha… ntahapeapentah!
memula skali sambung pasal pekse tempoh hari… erhm.. result sepenuhnya still tak kluar sedangkan mid year paper is coming… oh ya… aku jgak blom pekse hafazan syafawi.. duh~ sure hari selasa nanti kene pekse nye… kene prepare nih… dua surah… hernm… pastu yg akademik tempoh hari.. erhm.. memuaskan la jgak… ok la tu… aku rasa tuk subjek PMR ade 4 ke 5 A’s… diniyyah plak 2 atau 3 kot B.. huhuhu… akibat tak membaca la tu! kuang3….
ade la satu minggu dalam April ni… ade tiga hari dalam minggu tu, 12 jam aku kluar rumah tanpa balik! adeh… sebabnya satu, ikut ayah gi maktab. yg kedua tunggu ayah meeting. yg ketiga…. forgot plak. ikut ayah gi mana…. and minggu tu jgak baru balik kejap hari khamis kene gi qiam. hehehe… routine la tu tuk setiap bulan. mmg minggu tu balik lewat stiap hari except khamis tu la sbb ade qiam. aku ingat agi minggu tu aku mmg hangin gile sampaikan seme org turut hangin kat aku. el nino gamaknye. haha.. el nino?? dunno wht’s it! haha.. lantak ler.. nak bayangkan aku hangin je… balik2 sekola tu mengamuk. sebab lambat sampai umah. dekat maghrib baru sampai… campur plak keletihan blaja kat skola. abis satu umah bengang sebab aku. peh~ pastu hari kedua plak aku try dah… balik xnak ngamuk lagi. but… adeh.. berebut laundry bag yg satu jadi haru lagik! aku ngamuk lagi. dush~ dush~ then third tu ntah. aku try gak jadik baik. tak jadik monster. tapi agaknya masa tu seme duk expect aku nak ngamuk lagi, cold je blaka. sedih btul minggu tuh. and ada satu hari last week kot. aku ngamuk.. ehhe.. last2 kene marah. kene marah sbb hempas pintu and jendela. haha… padan muka! sian jendela ngan pintu bilik aku tu…. jadi mangsa amukan. huhuhuhu…. 
masa qiam tu… ade la pertandingan pidato. huhuhu… cam biasa je… and adik luqman hakim telah menjuarai pertandingan tu… keh keh keh… tahniah buatnya walaupun aku rasa dah agak lapuk… erhm… 23 April 2006…. tarikh bersejarah. aku jadik MC buat pertama kalinya seumur hidup. and ade double stroker tu…. waaargh! pesal aku kesah sangat derang kata? huhuhu… skang aku diam je la.. derang pun nampaknye diam je. mmg ’seram’ la jadik MC perhimpunan. ishk… aku xleh bayangkan aku kat depan lagi ramai manusia…. gementar! shaking! hehe… sampaikan sesudah aku tutup perhimpunan and letak mic pun tanganku sejuk sperti baru kluar dari bilik yg berhawa dingin. hahahahaha! mmg masa duk kat depan tu aku rasa sejuk sangat. tangan kiri aku masuk dalam poket depan kot. tangan kanan pegang mic.  huhuh….  walau apa pun aku kira sudah bagus performance aku as pengerusi hari tu… sebab tanpa kertas aku cakap. hehe… tersekat2 la jgak… sampai kan budak double stroker tu… abaikan.
and 29 April 2006 …. hari sukan. hehehe…. aku main ping pong, lari 400m, bola jaring and junjung buku tuk sukaneka. ping pong tak menang. hehehe… main gitu2 je. haha… lagipun first time aku masuk.. hehe… xbiasa lagi main. rilek je la… pastu netball dapat silver. lari pun silver. haha… junjung buku plak tempat pertama. kekeke…. praise be to HIM. but…. keseluruhan tempat rumah aku dapat last. hehe… Qastantiniyyah. erhm…. aku jadi pengadil badminton. masa nak naik kerusi tu gayat and takut2 … sebab last year aku jatuh… and dah rosakkan mende ape ntah org panggil… hehe… tahun ni x dah. huhu…. erm…. then… oh ya. 27 April 2006, kasut sekolahku didapati nazak. hehe… actually tapak aje. erhm… tah ler. padan ngan harga la. dalam RM10.00 je. hehehe.. knonnya dapat tahan lama sebab guna gi skola je. hampeh! 2 bulan pertama pun dah pecah. bulan ketiga sikit2 dia hancur. bulan keempat kluar kaki aku dr bawah! hahaha…. nampaknya hari Selasa nanti aku gi skola ngan kasut kanvas. hehehe… lantak ler langgar peraturan pun. tuk sementara. actually ummi dah ajak gi beli hari Rabu hari tu, tapi masa tu mood hangin. hehe… masa tido. petang. mana tak hangin. ehhe… pengajaran, jangan tido petang. mmg tido petang tak elok. bley jadi gila. huuhuh….
sukan tu… tuk puteri impian kumpulan aku wat kimono. aku la yg cadangkan. haha… tp xsempat siap sbb kerjasama kurang. huhuhu.. tak de la. pakat duk tumpu satu aspek aje. hahaha… tp ok la tu. xsiap. haha… xsempat nak staple kain la… tudung tak de..  ape la… hurnm.. ingat nak letak kat photo album. tp tak transfer agik gamba tu kat komp. len kali kot. putera impian plak, baniin kumpulan aku menang. huhuhuhu…. puteri impian, banaat Mu’tah menang.
erhm… hari ni lak.. Ahad. adik2 laki aku gi skolah, nursery, tadika. adik pempuan aku ade je kat umah. hehe.. cuti peristiwa sukan. pagi2 agik aku jalan gi umah nenek aku. nam amik beskal. Usu Kama ade masa aku gi tu. die buh minyak lu kat rantai beskal. haha… die kata pandai naik je beskal, jaga tak. ehehehe… lepas thanx him, aku gi beli roti canai. hehe… lama gak menunggu. then balik umah. pastu aku ‘kubey’ halaman umah. hahaha…. aku kerat pokok. haha.. suka btol. pastu siram pokok. sampai ‘banjir’ satu pasu tu.. ahha.. main ngan air. saje2. pastu aku layan tv. keke… melodi. skali kene fara fauzana tu. masa isu nasha aziz tu… wahid kata "tu la kene pakai tudung tutup hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki"… lebih kurang gitu la ayat dia. huhuhu…. pastu layan je tv. tak gak. aku layan radio. pastu buat cards tuk my friends. hehe… boring2… erhm… ok ah. ngantuk seyh. lame dah tak jadi ‘owl’. tak tahan dah. ok. may ALLAH bless us… wassalam!

Luka yang lama belum kita lupakan,
Hangat terasa bahang yang menyakitkan,
Harapan dan keyakinanmu membutakan segalanya,
Hanyut dalam genggaman memusnahkan kita,

Segala yang berlaku bukanlah niatku,
Maafkan diriku keterlanjuran lalu,

Masih belum lewat untuk kita bertaubat,
Menilai dosa walau diri terhina,
Redha dan keampunanNya mengatasi segalanya,
Sinar dalam gelita harapan terbina,

Segala yang berlaku bukanlah niatku,
Maafkan diriku keterlanjuran lalu,

Segala yang berlaku bukanlah niatku,
Maafkan diriku keterlanjuran lalu,

    Well good morning, good evening or good afternoon

Wherever you are and whatever you do

A lot of things happening in the world today

Most of them far beyond our control you might say

Perhaps its time we took a pause

And thought about life

And thought about the laws of gravity

And sexuality and humanity

Don’t touch that dial

Just try and hear me out for a while

You

I broke you

It’s not true

I’ve been you

I’ve been on the evening

[Chorus}

You

I broke you

It's not true

That I've been used

I've been on the evening news

You've been way too hard

Now I'm a mess

I think we only need one channel less

Could you turn me up please?

Could you turn me up?

That's right

You've been way too hard

Now I'm a mess

I think we only need one channel less

You've been way too hard

Now I'm a mess

I think we only need

I think we only

[Chorus]

Break prime time with surprise and lies

You’re signed and sealed

With what you see with anybody else’s eyes

You’re talking the talk

But you ain’t walking the walk man

One mike, one camera

And you become an educator

Can I trust you with my own

Give me time to believe

Those with too much power they fall down in history

Yea you might have us hanging onto your every breath

So be responsible

Learn to preserve, protect and respect

Not to destroy

Not to deplore

The angles of truth are so much harder to explore

And living your life is about waiting for the next test

So live for the moment

Cos it never turns out like you expect

[Chorus]

We’ll be right back

After this

[Chorus]

Well that’s all the time we have

Thanks for watching

Goodbye to you my trusted friendWe´ve known each other since weWere nine or tenTogether we´ve climbed hills and treesLearned of love and abc´sSkinned our hearts andSkinned our knees

Goodbye my friend it´s hard to dieWhen all the birds are singingIn the skyNow that spring is in the airPretty girls are everywhereThink of me and i´ll be there

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the hills that we climbed werejust seasons out of time

goodbye papa please pray for mei was the black sheep of the familyyou tried to teach me right from wrongtoo much wine and too much songwonder how i got along

goodbye papa it´s hard to diewhen all the birds are singing in the skynow that the spring is in the airlittle children everywherewhen you see them i´ll be there

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the wine and the songs like theseasons have all gonewe had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the wine and the song likethe seasons have all gone

goodbye michelle my little oneyou gave me love and helped me find the sunand every time that i was downyou would always come aroundand get my feet back on the ground

goodbye michelle it´s hard to diewhen all the birds are singing in the skynow that the spring is in the airwith the flowers everywherei wish that we could both be there

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the hills that we climbed werejust seasons out of time

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the wine and the song like theseasons have all gone

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the wine and the song like theseasons have all gone

we had joy we had fun we hadseasons in the sunbut the wine and the song like theseasons have all gone

salamun ‘alaik!

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hik hik hik… best nye. kui3… ohh shine a light for every soul that aint with us no more! huhuhu….

pekse… peh~ 3days pekse!!!!
tu tuk last week la… but lucky subjek diniyyah.. huhuu… lucky2 pun… markah aku ntah bape…

hari ahad 26 mac 2006 >> ade kelas tambahan cam besa la.. pastu esoknye pekse.. tauhid and hadis and PAI (epal pie??) tp aku xstudy.. keh3.. malam tu aku try la wat nota PI.. sambil tgk apprentice.. abis apprentice aku trus tido. haha… dasat. actually try gak carik buku tauhid and hadis tapi xde kat umah. ngan my
friends. ahha..

hari isnin 27 mac 2006 >> special anniversary aku.. hahaha.. secreto! aku naik kete aku bkak la bace PI sket2… sampai skola pun baca la gak.. but tak sempat abis.. tanggung ar.. hehe.. ok la. bleh jgak jawab sket2.. tembak2 sket2.. buat rilek je la aku… aku kot lambat skali siap drpd observation aku.. ehhe.. aku bleh je perhatikan org sbb aku duk blkg. kuang3… pastu hadis. aku mmg hafal last minute ah. taun lepas ade terjadi gak peristiwa meminjam buku neh. ehhehe.. biar laa… aku xkisah. hehe.. sbb kat umah aku xstudy jugak! dasar pemalas! erhm… actually not that… tp aku xske study. ahak~ praise be to HIM hadis aku dpt la gak skit sebyk 89%. hehe.. berkat doa mak aku la tu.. ehehe.. yeye je.. ahha… berkat aku study ngan kawan2. hehe.. let it be.. mende dah lepas. tauhid plak.. aku hafal last minit la jgak!! mmg… huh~ balik umah tu.. aku xhafal gak. aku rilek je main ngan adik aku. tgk tv. jenguk blog. hehehe… buat tatau je. abis tgk save the last dance for me aku pun tido. eheheh…

selasa 28 mac 2006 >> BAK akh and tafsir. memula BAK. erhm.. there’s a story behind that… huuh.. just make me guilty jaaa.. aaaaaaaa… but.. argh! let it be secret.. hehe… i’ll never forget it!! bdak2 form 3 rehat lambat hari 28 mac nih. huhuhu.. abis makanan.  then tafsir. aku mmg sempat baca skit2 je aa sambil makan. soalan mmg senang and mudah sekali. tapi ku xbaca… amik arh padah! huhuhu… akhlq. aiyak! aku buat gitu2… je. hehe… ntah. hehehe… lantak lah. but… ishk. huhu.. mmg aku… erhm.. i dunno la. balik2 tu… aku just hafal balik hafazan je. hehehe.. ntah kenape. rindu kot. ehhehe… abis save the last dance for me aku tido je gak…

rabu 29 mac 2006 >> ketas soklan ade sedikit masalah. kuang3… aku mmg target tajwid and hafazan pagi2 tu.. but jadi ketas fiqh plak. kantoi arr… aku sempat baca abis. but masa nak jwb tak ingat la. bleh ingat gitu2 je. samar2. kene ade lampu suluh. hehee… sirah pun sama. kantoi abis… xsempat nak hafal seme. ye lah. kat umah x hafal. ehhe… tajwid alhamdulillah.. dua soklan je sangkut. hafazan bleh seme.. praise be to ALLAH.

yang best nye sepanjang pekse ni balik awal!! aha… pastu ayah beli pisang goreng. naik2 kete makan. aaa… huhuhu… ade la minggu sebelum pekse.. aku nak pisang goreng tu.. ayah xbeli. esoknye ayah beli. aku puasa plak. sbb ade qiam. eheheh… erhm.. but ini la pekse yg mmg aku nye motivasi down!!! down cam ape je. emosi aku… mmg xstabil. masa jawab ketas fiqh and sirah tu… aku dah letih fikir. cam dah xde semangat nak fikir. aku pun letak je ketas tu kat hujung meja. aku igt agik ketas ape ntah aku cam tolak je terus bile xleh dah cam tolak nasi aku xnak. nasib baik xjatuh ketas tuh. hhuuhuh… kalo x.. hehe… aku sebut ar kat kwn aku masa pekse tu.. yg soklan aku xleh fikir dah.. aku mmg sbut kat kwn aku yg berpaling kat aku, "aku give up ah!" huhu… aku rasa aku ckp kuat kot. sbb ade la bdak kat ujung tu cam dgr2 je aku ckp. ehhe.. my voice… satu hal pulak… mmg masa duk jawab soklan pekse.. and kat umah utk memulihkan emosiku aku dgr and nyanyi lagu Alam Persekolahan and SUmbangsih. huhuuh… semangat la bila nyanyi. hehehe.. pastu disamping berharap pada KEKASIH aku.. hehe.. disamping aku pun trying.. ahak…

aku gak nak berterima kasih kat sultan kelantan sbb bagi cuti yg begitu panjang. ahhaa… best banget! rileks… walaupun there’s still sumthin disturbin my mind…. at least i can run from exam. ahhaha.. but i’ll face it jgak gane2 pun utk akademik plak… hakikat. kehidupan gini lah. huhuhu…
the day b4 yesterday… huhuh.. aku rasa tension sgt. memula nak tgk tv, cite LUNA tp adikku conquer tv. mmg bengang la. pastu aku igt nak gi beli ice-cream. aku korek la duit aku simpan. ade sikit je. ahha.. sbb dah terlalu kerap aku korek. pastu aku nak naik beskal, tayar xde angin laaa… aku pun jalan kaki. gi umah nenek aku. saje2. ingat nak landing situ, aiseyh,,, malas lak. jalan balik smula. aku pun amik je la beskal yg xdak angin tu gi kedai. xgi kedai terus. aku gi round2. ikut jalan jauh. aku beli air mineral ngan dairy milk. hehe… pastu aku minum air tu. aku sambung balik aku nye journey,. ahak! balik2 umah… letih.huhuuh… sampai umah my cousin dajah satu kata "yah beli air. beli coklat" aku buat tatau. pahtu aku kata ape ntah. tp ngan kasar la. kesian kat dia. xbesalah kat aku poon. huhuhu…
smalam mmg down gile. duk pk xnak gi skola. xnak idup. xnak sgala2! pastu aku lupe camne bleh up skit balik. ehheh… bantuan KEKASIH aku la.

skang nih duk chat ngan dua org. mlmh sakinah and LLQ. hahaha…. ntah ler. saje2… buang boring. hahaha… mlmh sakinah nak bg tau markah. takut nye!!
65% saja! hhuuhuh… am i regret? am i satisfy? am i sad? do i cry rite now? regret… not at all.. i know. i’m not strugling. hehe… x usaha sgt. satisfy… of coz no!!! aku… i cant tell in here. sad… yeah! sure! cry.. i want!! but i cant burst out my tears!!!!!!!!!!! what happen to my qalb? i think i should go now. ahha.. dunno what to say. cukup dah kot. wassalam. may ALLAH bless.

Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
You don’t see a damn thing
’cause you can’t relate to me
You’re blinded by our differences
My life makes no sense to you
I’m the persecuted one
You’re the red, white, and blue

Each day you wake in tranquility
No fears to cross your eyes
Each day I wake in gratitude
Thanking God He let me rise
You worry about your education
And the bills you have to pay
I worry about my vulnerable life
And if I’ll survive another day
Your biggest fear is getting a ticket
As you cruise your Cadillac
My fear is that the tank that has just left
Will turn around and come back

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows
Someone tell me…

Ooohh, let’s not cry tonight
I promise you one day it’s through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain’t with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters

See I’ve known terror for quite some time
57 years so cruel
Terror breathes the air I breathe
It’s the checkpoint on my way to school
Terror is the robbery of my land
And the torture of my mother
The imprisonment of my innocent father
The bullet in my baby brother
The bulldozers and the tanks
The gases and the guns
The bombs that fall outside my door
All due to your funds
You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of my enemies
I’m terrorized in my own land
But am I the terrorist?

Yet, do you know the truth of where your money goes?
Do you let your media deceive your mind?
Is this a truth nobody, nobody, nobody knows
Someone tell me…

Ooohh, let’s not cry tonight, I promise you one day it’s through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain’t with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,

Americans, do you realize that the taxes that you pay
Feed the forces that traumatize my every living day
So if I won’t be here tomorrow
It’s written in my fate
May the future bring a brighter day
The end of our wait

Ooohh, let’s not cry tonight, I promise you one day it’s through
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,
Ooohh, shine a light for every soul that ain’t with us no more
Ohh my brothers, Ohh my sisters,

Ohh let’s not cry tonight I promise you one day is through
Ohh my brothers! Ohh my sisters!
Ooh shine a light for every Soul that ain’t with us no more
Ohh my brothers! Ohh my sisters!

-outlandish-

Resah dan gelisah ku rasa

Hidup penuh pancaroba

Roda masa pantas berputar

Menduga iman di dada

Daku yang lena dan terleka

Tenggelam di lautan dunia

Kabur pandangan mataku

Pada nikmat yang menggunung

Mendustakan kurniaanMu

Tiba murkamu menghukum

Keangkuhanku kian hancur

Lantas ku jatuh dan tersungkur

TanpaMu kasih (Oh Kekasih)

Ku tak berdaya (Ku terpedaya)

Hilang punca dan arah (Pada helah dusta dunia)

Hanyut alpa di arus bergelora

Kasih (Oh Kekasih)

Daku derita (Tangisku hiba)

Lemah dalam sengsara (Dan mengalir oh air mata)

Jiwa dan tubuh kepedihan

Terseksa, terhukum

Menanggung kifarah dariMu

Telah ku lalui semalam

Jalanan kelam dan suram

Lampaui batasan insan

KeagunganMu kulupakan

Rahmat dariMu kudambakan

KeampunanMu kupohonkan

Tuhan, ku tak berdaya

Tempuh segala

Tanpa kasihMu

Hatiku ini merindu

Sinar cintaMu Yang Agung

Pasrah merayu redhaMu

Ampuni dosa-dosaku

Rahmat dariMu ku dambakan

KeampunanMu ku pohonkan